For many autism families, the Christmas season can bring supremely high levels of stress. The expectations that come along with the holidays can lead to stress, depression or disappointment. Add in not planning for making it successful for your autistic child and the stress will overwhelm you.
It’s important, as you’ll have been through another year, giving you more than enough to look back on. If you don’t know what to reflect on during the holidays, this could be difficult. There are a wealth of things to choose from!
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3 things to reflect on that will help relieve autism Christmas stress
1. Friendship
Friendship is one of the most important things in anyone’s life. Nearing the holidays can be a great time to reflect on your friendships. You could consider multiple things about them, including whether or not the friendships are right for you.
Determine whether or not you feel positive about specific friendships or if they make your life worse. If it’s the second of these, then it’s worth reflecting on whether you need that person in your life.
2. Forgiveness
When someone wrongs you, it can be easy not to forgive the person. Forgiveness is never for the person who wronged you but the person wronged. You deserve peace is a good enough reason to forgive them.
Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. You can forgive the person but not allow them access to you. Trick me once, shame on you. Trick me twice, shame on me is the saying.
Christmas is not a reason to allow toxic people who have hurt you back in your life even if, or especially if, they are family. Protect yourself, your family, and your autistic child at all costs.
3. Grateful
Gratefulness is always something important to focus on, no matter when you’re doing it. During the holidays, it helps you remember all the good which automatically reduces your stress. You can’t be stressed while being grateful. It tends to put things in perspective.
If you want to go a step further, make it a goal to be more grateful in the future. I list 3 things to be grateful for in my daily journal. It can be hard to think of 3 things from the day before but I always manage to do it. This takes minimal time and effort, but yields big rewards. You won’t regret doing it.
Things to do that will eliminate Christmas stress in your autism household
Get Started Early
It’s never too early to start getting ready for Christmas. Always keep an eye out for festive decorations or the perfect Christmas card while you’re out shopping. Not only will this give you less to worry about when Christmas is just around the corner, but buying holiday supplies off-season can also save you money.
Since autism dictates that the family Christmas festivities are going to be held at our house, we start preparing weeks or even months ahead. Adding in small steps to prepare means my stress levels remain low. Small things add up to big things.
Connect with Family /Framily
The stress of the holidays is much easier to manage when you use the time to reconnect with family/framily. Gentle reminder that family doesn’t have to mean only those related to you by genetics. In fact, it does not here in Autismland. Framily means people who love you and accept you unconditionally regardless of genetics.
Life is too short to spend Christmas with people who are mean to you. Make your own framily if you need too.
Find new, fun ways to get into the holiday spirit together. You might try decorating Christmas stockings together, singing carols around your community. or make homemade gifts together. Traditions are what you make them.
Lower Your Expectations
Over-hype and high expectations make preparing for Christmas festivities much more stressful. If you worry yourself over having the best decorations, the most presents, or the most memorable dinner party, you could end up trying too hard from being so stressed.
Also, keep your expectations low for social situations with your autistic child. Don’t over commit or stay at an event longer than necessary resulting in a meltdown. Meeting sensory needs is paramount at this time of year for success. Your child’s success is your family’s success.
Cut Down on Spending
Financial issues are one of the leading causes of stress, and Christmas tends to be a very costly time. Try to save money where you can so that you have one less thing to worry about.
Think of inexpensive or sentimental gifts that you can give, rather than something costly from the store. The same goes for decorating. Homemade decorations for the house or tree save money, as well as provide an activity the whole family can enjoy.
Ask for Help
It’s very difficult to get everything done on your own during the Christmas season. But, you don’t have to get it all done by yourself. The ideal people to go to for help would be your family and the invited guests.
All of the stress-inducing chores that you need to take care of can become fun family activities. Not only will this make things much easier, but your family is sure to cherish Christmas all the more if everyone helped make it happen together. Ask the guests to bring something for a potluck rather than make it all on your own.
If you feel anxious when Christmas is a few weeks (or even months) away, you’re not alone. Many people consider the Christmas holidays to be the most stressful time of the year. But, as long as you avoid the over-hype and encourage your family to have realistic expectations, everybody in your family should have a peaceful and merry Christmas.
