Autism, regardless of age, is challenging on the best of days. The teen years are especially challenging due to hormones, the desire to fit in, etc. even for a typical child. There is hope, however, for helping your autistic teen thrive in their surroundings.
You simply need to think outside the box and make some adjustments to make them the most successful. Making them successful as a teen is no different from making them successful at anything else. Their success is paramount to everything else.
Tips For Helping Your Autistic Teen Thrive
Always have non verbal ways for your teen to communicate directly with you and others (family and friends) no matter what. This provides another added layer of comfort for them as well as you. I have found this to be true for every teenager not only autistic ones.
This form of nonverbal communication should grow over time and adapt with your child’s growing self awareness and capabilities. Take time to teach them how to communicate using adaptive technology gradually and ensure you both understand how to use it.
All of my children have smartphones that they use to text me when they need help, have a question they don’t know how to ask, or selective mutism has reared its ugly head. A great way to keep the lines of communication open.
It also alleviates the need to ask a question in front of everyone as well as gives them a chance to verbalize their feelings and needs without the fear of being judged by others. I confess that it also works for them to tell me how their feeling by text rather than vocalize it when they don’t always understand societal niceties. Saves them and me from embarrassment.
Be consistent from setting to setting. Autistic children, especially autistic teens, need consistency as much as possible. Take extraordinary care to keep their Autismland as consistent as possible, especially their schedules. This consistency allows them to function at their highest and best without the worry of what is happening next in their world.
Be consistent in your expectations and rewards to them as well. Make sure they know what is expected of them in advance. No one likes surprises when autism is involved.
Continue to reward good behavior when you see them doing it on their own. Everyone likes to be rewarded for the good they do more than they like to be punished for their mistakes. Reward your teen and celebrate their goodness. Catch them being awesome.
You do not have to be fancy with rewards. Keep it simple and consistent especially when they learn a new skill or complete a chore consistently. This will create an environment where your autistic teen thrives consistently.
Give them their own “safety zone” within the home. This is extremely important. It can be their bedroom and/or a special space in the family room. Make sure it is theirs alone and take great care to make it special to them. Think along the lines of a private escape or added comfort zone to take a break when needed.
Now would also be a great time to redo their bedroom to reflect this new stage in their life. To this day, we host holiday celebrations in our home so Logan has somewhere to retreat when he’s done peopling. If you must go somewhere else, make sure there is a safe zone for your child to regroup in and that they know where it is immediately. A safe place to rest and stim is imperative for everyone’s success.
Read Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome: A User Guide to Adolescence, written by Luke Jackson. This book is great reading and helps you both get it right. Although I do not care for the title, this book can and will become your guide through the teenage years.
Loaded with humor, you need to read it to help your teenager thrive without recreating the wheel. It’s always smart to learn tips and tricks from parents who have walked this road before you. Bear in mind though that what works with one autistic child may or may not work with another child. You know your child best.
Freaks, Geeks and Aspergers Syndrome: A User Guide to Adolescence
Uniquely Human: Updated and Expanded: A Different Way of Seeing AutismAdult Autism Support Guide: Simple & effective strategies to create a supportive environment, recognize & understand symptoms, and help autistic individuals be heard.The Awesome Autistic Go-To Guide: A Practical Handbook for Autistic Teens and TweensThe Social Survival Guide for Teens on the Autism Spectrum: How to Make Friends and Navigate Your EmotionsSame But Different: Teen Life on the Autism ExpressThe Autism Playbook for TeensThe Aspie Teen’s Survival Guide: Candid Advice for Teens, Tweens, and Parents, from a Young Man with Asperger’s Syndrome
Look into a social skills group especially for autistic teens. This can be priceless tool to help them react appropriately when interacting with their peers. It may be as simple as having them join a group with a common interest. The key to this one is that it must be an in person event.
Don’t be fooled into thinking they are working on social skills while online. While you certainly can work on social nuances and inflection online, reading body language and learning how to interact is best done in person. Can’t find a group in your area? Take care to go on outings to public places for the sole purpose of practicing and mastering social skills.
Update their Autism Action Plan to include hygiene and other life skills. This is a must and should actually be non negotiable for elementary school, middle school and high school. This allows you to stay ahead of the curve of physical body changes as well as expectations inside and outside of the home.
It reminds you to teach about things like shaving or menstruation before it becomes a necessity. You can’t expect your child, autistic or not, to automatically know what to do in those instances.
At this stage in life too, you need to take the stance that the more your autistic child can do for themself, the less likely they will be victimized by others who won’t have their best interests at heart. You have to think ahead to the adult years and making them as independent as possible.
Parenting has never been easy.The fact that you’re reading this article tells me that you really want what’s best for your child and want to help your autistic teen thrive. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’ve made it this far. Enjoy the teenage years.
You’ve worked hard for their success. Forget society that tells you teenagers are worse than toddlers. Teenagers are fun. Take pride in the person they are becoming and take steps to help your autistic teenager soar to new heights.
Other Teen Posts You May Like
- How To Prepare Your Autistic Teen For Getting Their Period
- How To Teach Your Teenage Son With Autism To Shave
- Building Your Teen’s Identity In Christ
- Parenting Teens: Helping or Enabling
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