Marriage is a sacred bond between two people that should last forever. When we agree to marry someone, we do so with full confidence that we’ll be together forever. However, we also understand that marriage will be full of tests. The only way forever is going to happen is to realize that marriage is hard work. You have to be intentional in taking time for your spouse. You’re either working on your marriage or working on your divorce.
As a married couple, your bond is tested throughout your life together. The way you respond to these tests says a lot about your relationship. Some couples get through them and remain stronger than other, while others are pushed further and further apart until they reach the breaking point.
Numerous things can tear your marriage apart, and I think it’s important we know what they are. In doing so, we can try and prepare for these things or prevent them from happening in the first place.
Addiction
An addiction to anything can very quickly drive a couple further and further from one another. There are obvious addictions such as smoking, alcohol, and drugs. Then, you have other ones such as gambling or being addicted to doing certain things that can drive your partner mad. It’s easier than you think to fall victim to an addiction when you live a very busy life and have a family to take care of. All it takes is one bad day to kick off a terrible habit that tears your marriage apart.
It’s obvious how an addiction can destroy your marriage. Being addicted to drugs or alcohol can change the way you behave and make you into a horrible person. In fact, all addictions can alter your mental health and change you. Not only that, but they also cost your family money too. You spend loads on your addiction and getting help costs a lot too. You’ve got the cost of treatment, the cost of things like behavioral health insurance, it all adds up. Even if an addiction is fought through, the damage it does to your family can be devastating.
Money Problems
Speaking of money, it can also be a cause of friction in a marriage. A lot of families who have children with autism also have money problems. This can lead to numerous arguments every day about how much you’re spending and that you need more money. It causes so much anger and frustration that either partner just wants to leave.
Money problems put a massive strain on your marriage, but they’re often hard to avoid. Both parties try and point the finger and blame the other for spending too much. Like I said, it’becomes a recipe for a long and loud shouting match every night. Autism expenses will eat you alive if you don’t work as a team in finding ways to afford autism.
Disrespect
When you’re married to someone, you have to treat them with love and respect. If there’s disrespect in a relationship, it will cause problems. I’m talking about one partner expecting the other to do all the dirty work and wait on them hand and foot. You’re both equals in a relationship, no one should be made to feel like they have to fulfill certain roles.
If there’s disrespect in a marriage, it will very slowly lead to a bitter end. You need to treat your partner like they’re the love of your life, and vice versa. Don’t expect them to do everything for you, and don’t be forced to do everything for them. Remember you’re a team. There’s no I in team.
The Biggest Problem Of All: Stress
At this point, I want you to look at these three things and tell me what they all have in common. Each of these issues is made worse with stress. If you or your partner are feeling incredibly stressed, you’re more likely to look for relief in the form of a cigarette or drink of alcohol. This can kick off an addiction that ruins your marriage.
Stress levels are high in families with a child with autism which fuels the frustration of money woes from autism expenses. Spending hours upon hours researching grants and organizations that will help pay for much needed therapy items for your child as well as dealing with insurance companies is enough to drive people bonkers. Who do you take it out on? Your spouse.
Finally, a lot of disrespect stems from being stressed. We’ve all heard stereotypical stories of a husband coming home after a stressful day and demanding his dinner is on the table right away. Stress makes you more disrespectful to your loved ones. Don’t add to your stress by being a butthead.
In essence, you and your partner should tackle stress first and foremost. This is something parents of a child with autism feel more than others. You have additional responsibilities and more to worry about. Stress levels can be high, but you need to calm them before your marriage suffers.
