Why is trust so hard?

Everyone knows that we found out this week that our lame insurance plan maxed out this week for Logan’s physical therapy. So, I have to add $120 weekly to our already stretched budget. You only need to eat once a day, right? Maybe a lot of people will invite us over for dinner. 😛 It oughtta be good for my diet and the October challenge.

Anyway, this post isn’t about whether or not we will continue to eat here in Rogersland. This post is about trusting God. He has always provided for us and He will again. I just need to trust in Him.

When I first got the insurance news, I panicked. I’ll be honest, I got depressed as well. Lucky for me , we had church that night so I didn’t have a chance to wallow in my depression. I had Mission Friends to teach and play with. Later that evening, after dropping JoJo off at home, I felt that still, small voice tell me to trust. Not the oh, I hope God takes care of it but to really trust. I listened to praise music and felt immensely better.

I need to leave it at His feet and trust that He will take care of it. When you leave it at His feet, you don’t look back. That’s where I always falter. I lay it at his feet then I go back a gazillion times to pick it back up. I try to solve it myself. I think that God is taking too long so I go back and pick it back up. His time is not my time. It will happen in HIS time. I just need to trust in Him.

This has been the hardest thing that I have ever done in my walk with God. I can feel that still small voice tell me that it’s ok. He WILL take care of it. Just leave it and walk away. So , that is what I am doing. I have laid it down and now I pray for strength to leave it there. I need courage to leave it . That is what I pray for now. Why does trust have to be so hard?