My Children Are Not In Competition With Yours

There are certain people in my life that view our relationship as a competition. Everything is a contest. We all know people like this.  People that no matter what you or your children do, they or their children have always done something better.  You hiked a mile.  They hiked 15.  Your child is enjoying gymnastics.  Their child is the next Mary Lou Retton.  Your children are smart.  Their children are geniuses.  You get the picture here.  It is their goal for you to never measure up to them which makes them feel superior to you.
Children are not in competition with anyone but themselves. Stay away from the toxic people who will try to drag you into their drama.
This is especially true when it comes to autism.  You learn quite early in your autism journey to shy away from children the same age as your child.  Seeing these children hit their milestones on target becomes increasingly painful to watch.  You naturally shy away from these encounters. You also learn to celebrate every milestone your child hits, be it big or small. Logan pointed at his empty cup today.  Woohoo! I’m  on cloud nine until I run into the aforementioned person.  All of a sudden his milestone doesn’t seem that spectacular anymore. 

The kicker here is that I don’t need to get sucked into this childish game.   It is a measure of their insecurity not mine. My job is not to measure up to their preconceived notion of my children.   My job is to follow the plan that God has laid out for me as I see it. To be the mom and steward of these children he has chosen for me to mother.  My God given job is to grow Spirit filled servants of Christ .  To prepare my children for their eternal destiny.  It is not my job to compete with other people to see who has the best kid or whose kid is the smartest.  As long as I am fulfilling the plan that God has for me then He will take care of all the other details.  They are inconsequential in the grand scheme of things .

I am blessed to have two children that have a heart for Jesus.  They are well mannered, ( usually although they have been known t0 lose their brains and turn into Neanderthals)  bright children with generous souls.  I have a fantastic as well as handsome husband who works hard to provide for his family.  He also realizes that there is more to being a husband and father than financial support.  He is as active in the children’s upbringing and education as I am. He loves his family immensely and is fiercely protective of it.  In this day and age , that is a true rarity.  I am blessed beyond measure and far more than I deserve. It’s these blessings that rile the jealousy in others who then want to make me feel less than blessed.

It’s a big step for me to realize that there is no need for  competition .  It is me giving them the power to make me feel inadequate.  I just need to keep  my eyes on Jesus. I need to follow where He is leading me with such precision that I am blind to everything else.  Satan will use those feelings of inadequacy to take my eyes of Him.  The enemy will do whatever is necessary to get me to fail in  my goal.  The last thing Satan wants is two more Spirit filled servants of Christ.  So he uses these relationships to point out what he thinks are my flaws and to make me feel insuperior and jealous.  To quote a good friend here “Don’t fight a spiritual battle in the physical realm.” 

Sometimes I need to take a few days to relax and pray.  Spend some time reading His Word, talking with Him and praising His Name.  Take some time to remind myself that academics aren’t the answer to everything.  Count my blessings one by one if need be to see that my God has not forsaken me.  If I get sucked into that battle then the enemy wins again.  There is no competition if only one person is participating.  My family and I are participating in that contest anymore. 

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