A good listener pays attention, comprehends what people say, and reacts appropriately to what they heard. Autistic children have been known to have poor processing speed which makes listening skills all the more important as well as harder to accomplish.
In How to Make Your Child a Better Listener by Florence Karnofsky and Trudy Weiss, they define these three components, concentration, understanding, and response as the keys to being a good listener. The authors point out that each component is dependent on the other. You have to work on all three to grow a better listener.
What Poor Listening Skills Look Like In An Autistic Child
A child has a poor listening skills if they have a quizzical look on their face as you talk to them, or the child remains silent when you talk directly to them. Poor listening skills manifest as the child does only part of a requested task, they do the opposite of what was asked, or the they pay no attention to what you’ve just asked them to do.
Both parents and teachers will notice that poor listening skills look a lot like poor behavior. It’s not that the child is purposely not doing what you told them to do, it’s that they didn’t hear you or process it correctly.
Improving Listening Skills Through Concentration
A key to effective listening habits is the ability to pay attention. Karnofsky and Weiss point out that a three-year-old has an attention span of approximately five minutes, a six-year-old twenty minutes, and a ten-year-old thirty minutes. Adults should determine if their expectations are greater than what a child is capable of, especially if their developmental age is significantly different from their chronological age.
Help children learn to pay attention by touching the child’s hand or shoulder to get their attention before you start speaking. Try not to interrupt a child who is in deep concentration, even if he or she is playing. Eye contact is not necessary here. Don’t force it.
Stop what you are doing before you give instructions or information so the child isn’t distracted by your actions and announce to the child that you will be giving directions (or whatever form of communication you’ll be engaging). When a child asks to talk to you, stop what you are doing and model the behavior you want from children. Finally, ask a child to repeat back what you said.
Listening Exercises in Comprehension
Adults can improve a child’s understanding of what is being said by using a variety of specific words and requesting children think of specific words (general cheese; specific Swiss cheese).
Talk together and recall the events of the day.
Offer encouragement to the child as he talks, “I see what you mean.”
Also, read stories that are above the child’s comprehension to encourage conversations and to give the opportunity to learn to use the context of the story to understand some of the words.
Exercises for Listening and Responding With Your Autistic Child
Good listeners know how to respond to what they’ve been asked to do. Start by telling the child what you want them to do before you tell them how you want it done.
Make certain that a request is reasonable for the child’s age and ability, and praise the child in advance of him carrying out a task (ìI appreciate you putting way your toys. Please put your blocks in the red box.)
Avoid talking in a loud voice or repeating requests two or three times so children learn that they need to respond the first time directions are given. Otherwise, they learn that there is a buffer between a request being made and when they have to follow it.
Parent should work to develop good listening habits as early as preschool and continue with children ages five-to-ten.
Components of listening, concentration, comprehension, and response are dependent upon one another, so these communication skills should be worked on together.
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