I’ve sat here and watched one and a half football games. That entire time, I have tried to come up with a blog post for today (Monday). I have a sorta schedule that I made out to try and keep me on track . Today should be a post about treating autism biomedically. I couldn’t come up with a single post. Every time I have tried to write the post, I have drawn a blank and come up with something else. Obviously, God is telling me to post the something else. I know what you’re thinking. It took you one and half football games to figure that out. I’m kinda slow, what can I say?
Yesterday, I asked about trust. Trust is something that I really struggle with in my walk with God. I’m talking about the complete and utter trust that comes with believing with all your being that He will take care of you. The lay it at His feet and walk away kind of trust. I say that I trust Him but then I always try to come up with my own plan. You know, just in case.
Yesterday at church, I gave my last $14 towards my tithes. I budget a certain amount each month for tithes. I know that I should give that first thing each month but something always comes up. But you know what? It goes back to trust. I simply don’t trust that He will truly provide so I don’t want to give up the money. That’s wrong. I don’t know how to say it any other way. That’s all I could think about as I got ready for church.
It was my last $14. What if we need gas? We certainly didn’t have enough food to eat. I could buy some milk and cereal for the children . I could pay half of Logan’s RDI fee on Wednesday. Stop. I could do all that myself. Or I could be obedient to what I truly believed the Lord was telling me. He was clearly saying , “If you trust me then give it back to me. I will provide for you. Just trust in me.”
So, I trusted. It took every ounce of strength and courage in my body to do it. Literally. I second guessed myself a gazilion times that morning during Sunday School. But in the end, I was obedient and gave it to Danyel to put in the offering plate for me. (I had Wee Church detail that morning).
I didn’t do it grudgingly. I didn’t say ok Lord, now it’s up to you. By willingly giving the last of my money to Him, I was saying “I trust You.” And I do. I still pray for strength to leave my finances at His feet. But, for now, I am able to leave it and walk away. When I feel like picking it up, I drop to my knees and ask for strength and He provides it. Praise music helps too . It puts me in the right frame of mind and reminds me of His grace and power.
Now to the provision part. I had not been home from church very long when a good friend from church called and asked me to go to Sam’s Club with her. We were coming up with a meal for another church member who has a hurt child. She bought food for that family and for my family too. Then she went to Publix and bought Logan some chocolate Lucky Charms ( his new favorite cereal). Today, she brought over 3 dozen eggs and 2 Publix gift cards. She did not know that we were almost out of food or that Michael and I were eating one meal a day to save food for the children. She listened to that still small voice tell her to help us. In the process, she delivered a message from God to me. That message said, ” See, trust in me and I will provide for you.”
Someone else called today and insisted on paying our way to the homeschool field trip. She knew that I had backed out because of finances. She also knew that Logan had certainly been looking forward to it. Again, He provides.
Yet another person emailed me to say that she had left a weighted blanket at the therapy place for Logan. One of the things that has been on our ot wish list for quite some time. She wasn’t using it and thought of Logan when trying to come up with someone to give it to. Again, He provides.
My Pampered Chef business is picking up. People are calling me out of the blue to place orders and book shows. A show that I had assumed canceled is in fact still on for Friday. Not only is it still a go but already has outside orders, 15 people rsvped yes and someone else wants to book a show from it. Again, He provides.
Finally, the therapy center has agreed to let us make back payments on the balance that came up when insurance ran out. So, we don’t have to come up with the back balance all at once as well as the $120 weekly fee. Again, He provides.
There are still challenges ahead. For one, we have to pay the therapy fee and the electric bill this week. That simply will not happen with Michael’s paycheck. But I’m not worried. Because He will provide!